I woke up at 5.40am this morning.
I no longer set an alarm clock but my body clock is still unable to let me lie in beyond 6am. Unemployment was not supposed to be like this. I seriously contemplate going for a quick jog before the sun comes up and yet instead, I find myself watching YouTube videos of Graeme Souness’s career highlights.
I clearly need some structure back into my life so I set up this blog site and then watched some more Liverpool legends’ footage. I’ve basically given this week over to mentally preparing for the Champions League Final on Saturday. Social Change can sometimes be placed on pause.
Next week I intend to hold my breath and deep-dive into all the things I wanted to do and say when I was the CEO of a childrens’ charity but couldn’t because charity law is an ass. The very people who are closest to the issues of crippling social inequality and best-placed to comment and advise, are muzzled by archaic stifling laws into never expressing a faintly political view. I found this endlessly frustrating and counter-productive. It’s almost as if the government don’t want those with passion and expertise to have a powerful voice on the change needed to improve the lives of those on the margins.
I’ve become so jaded and detached from the UK political system that I no longer watch, listen, trust or care. There are moments when a politician fights hard to change an issue close to my heart (take a bow David Lammy), where my fires are briefly stoked but generally I’ve turned off from the broken system with its wolfish players. Where once I would have been greedily devouring the news first thing every morning, I’m now watching classic Sesame Street clips online and trying to decipher obscure 1970s Scouse football chants.
I’m hoping that my stepping off the edge – leaving the security of a comfortable job that I love; seeking meaning, integrity and truth in something new, won’t prove to be as foolish as it sounds.
It could be but as the great Graeme Souness once said: ‘Working with people on a field, really turns me on.’
I can’t ask for more than that in a new role really.
A Northern Soul 